Skip to site navigation
The Alphabet of the Human Heart
Monday, 1 Feb 2010
Words by Sarah Johnson
With Valentine’s Day well in our sights, Intrinsic has turned its attention to matters of the heart. This traditional day for sweethearts of red roses and candlelit dinners sparks varied responses: from eager anticipation to lonesome aversion and even commercial cynicism.
With these flip sides in mind, it seemed fitting to turn to a newly released book, The Alphabet of the Human Heart (Pan Macmillan Australia), described as a handbook for the happy and bible for the broken hearted.
A beautifully illustrated and deeply poignant book, The Alphabet of the Human Heart was written as a guide to the upsides and downsides of life. With a healthy dose of humour, it travels through the alphabet, from A to Zen, covering the positives of the human spirit, including J is for Joy and P is for Passion. Flip over the book and you find the less favourable, but unavoidable aspects of life, including B is for Boredom and N is Negativity, together with ways to overcome them.
Co-produced by two friends of more than 30 years, Matthew Johnstone and James Kerr, the book was designed “to help at least one person out there in the emotional wilderness.”
Intrinsic asked Matthew Johnstone (pictured below), a Sydney-based author of four books including I had a Black Dog and Living With a Black Dog (about his experience with depression), to apply his insights from life to love and relationships.
All we have is the love that we give
For those less than thrilled at the prospect of Valentine’s Day, a time that often serves to zero in on what we don’t have, Matthew says you can’t go past one of his favourite pages: L is for Love.
In life, we lose our youth, our strength, our influence, our memory, even our bladder control. In the end, all we have, and all we will be remembered for, is the love that we give; not just to one person, but to everyone we meet.
It’s a message recited at two funerals Matthew has sadly attended since the release of his book, which says a lot about the significance of its meaning. Love should be prized and shared willingly and even if there’s not that special someone right now, there’s a lot to be gained from sharing your love and good will with your best buddy, grandmother or even furry friend.
Spare a little love
And why not save a little, or even a lot, for yourself? As Matthew says, “I think so often people are looking for relationships to feel fulfilled, and quite often we neglect to love ourselves…That’s what is important about this book, it’s really understanding yourself and loving yourself…without being cheesy!”
If you need some help in this regard, Y is for You will nudge you in the right direction: To live a full and satisfying life, think with your heart, be loyal to your dreams, engage your emotions, respect your relationships, defy your fears, pursue your passions, find your flow, express your energy, enjoy the moment, contribute to your community, remain forever young and forever curious, feed your mind, your body and your soul, answer your higher purpose, leave a legacy, and live with love.
Don’t succumb to the humdrum
Even if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s easy to succumb to the humdrum and repetitive routine that life can become. “Someone once told me that on any given day, the average couple will speak for less than 10 minutes to each other,” says Matthew. “Being in the room” is a saying that Matthew likes and he admits that his wife, Ainsley often prompts him with the question: “Are you in the room?”, which can be translated as, “Are you here, can you hear me?”.
A little here, a little there
When the father of one of Matthew’s friends died recently, Matthew learnt that the father had written a love note or card to his wife every month during their 50-odd year marriage.
While Matthew thinks Valentine’s Day can be a “really nice sign of appreciation”, his message is that showing your affection shouldn’t be consigned to one day. Rather it’s something that should be nurtured throughout the year, with simple gestures. Like the couple that make sure they touch each other at least once a day in passing.
There aren’t too many letters in the upside of the alphabet that don’t have some bearing on relationships, like C is for Compassion, T is for Trust and X is a Kiss! On the other side, we need to be careful of L is for Lies and J is for Jealousy.
The bottom line is that whether you’re in or out of love, there’ll be obstacles along the way. As Matthew concludes: “when we go through adversity and we come out the other side, we’re wiser, stronger, brighter, more caring and more compassionate than we were before.”
Enjoy the ride from A to Zen.
The 5 winners of The Alphabet of the Human Heart Competition are:
Joanne Nicolle
Melanie Smoothy
Sonya Richards
Tricia Parker
Zakhia Flynn
Congratulations!
Go back to Love & Friendship stories
Go back to Inspiring Stories
Home
Back